If you’re looking for ways to forgive your husband or wife, then I’m sorry to inform you that there really isn’t any such thing. Forgiveness is something that can and does work if it’s handled correctly. There are two possible reasons for this. One, the one that almost every woman wants to learn, is the one where you actually do want to forgive and the other, is that you just don’t want to. It’s a hard pill to swallow when you realize that you’ve been sending your spouse messages and emails that are begging them to take you back and it will be even harder if they never respond.
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The truth is, you don’t want to be in this position. You love your spouse and you want them to change. You’re desperate enough to think that simply taking the initiative to say “I’m sorry” could change everything or at least make things better, but nothing could be further from the truth. But what do forgiveness worksheets for?
Let’s start with the second reason. Sometimes you simply don’t want to. That’s understandable and I’m not trying to blame you or anything. In my marriage, I wanted so badly to love my ex-wife, but she wouldn’t let me. I ended up being the one begging her to take me back even though she said no more than three times and I still wasn’t getting an answer.
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Don’t worry, though! I’ve been where you are now before and I understand completely. You’re human and mistakes happen and forgiveness is a very attainable thing. You might have had a hard time letting go of your feelings for each other, but I bet if you keep looking hard enough, you’ll find someone who was willing to forgive. Do the same and you’ll both feel better.
What if you do feel like forgiving your spouse? Is there a way to do it without being manipulative? There is. Yes, forgiveness can work through manipulation if you approach it correctly and don’t make it seem like you want to punish the person you’re wanting to forgive. Forgiveness is a very good thing and should be welcomed not punished.
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The way to do it correctly is to use a form of gentle persuasion. Forgive yourself and forgive your partner. Really evaluate the situation and be honest with yourself. Decide why it is you feel the need to hold on to this past. Ask yourself if you are the kind of person who can handle another person’s anger and resentment.
Once you make that decision, write down your reasons, and work those into your own personality. Tell yourself that yes, you do want to forgive but you can’t because if you do, your partner will think you don’t value them enough and they’ll resent you. That doesn’t make any sense. So decide to value yourself more and let your partner know you understand that it is for their own good.
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That’s really all there is to forgiveness. Don’t complicate it by putting a price on it. If you truly want to have a loving relationship and learn how to forgive, just practice and be kinder. It really is that simple!
The most difficult part is not to look for excuses. I’m sure everyone feels that way in some degree or another. If you really want to forgive your partner then you will find some excuse to say no. Forgiveness is about control not revenge. So find a way not to blame them, take responsibility, and promise never to do it again.
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Practice forgiveness daily. Reading about forgiveness and seeing others working through their issues can help. It will strengthen your resolve. And your spouse will love you more for it.
Learn how to forgive others. Then, practice the skills you learn in your daily relationship and life interactions. Until you learn how to do it for yourself, there will always be a person who will abuse your generosity. As long as you keep learning and practicing, there will be love and kindness in your world. You just have to reach deep enough to find it.
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